If you’ve met someone a few times but still can’t remember their name, one trick is to avoid them for the rest of your life.

What do you call a woman with a bicycle on her head ? Petal !

I can be up bright or early. Pick one.

5: Mommy can we pee in the pool? M: NO! Neighbors kid: Why? M: Because pee mixed with chlorine produces sharks and they’ll eat and kill you.

[DARK HUMOUR] What do you call a fat baby? Quite a mouthful.

When my date told me he was a ‘culinary genius’, I replied, ‘Then this Brazilian won’t go to waste!’, and winked. Now we wait.

3 Mods walk into a bar [deleted]

If a tree falls in the woods… If a tree falls in the woods, and Republicans aren’t around to hear it, is it still Obama’s fault?

Life is to enjoy with whatever you have with you 😉 An old man had 8 hair on his head. He went to a barber shop. Barber in anger asked: Shall i cut or count? Old man smiled and said: “Colour it!” 😀

What did the homophobic sheep say when he saw the two female sheep making out in the field? “Oh, ewe”