Who does the Metric Cult worship? …Demetre.

I like my women like I like my coffee… [Fill in the blank]

I showed up at Disney headquarters uninvited I said I was there for a Rogue One cameo That’s how I learned the security guards have Tasers

Pokemon Go has really improved my life… I used to always get in trouble for playing with my balls outside.

I love watching two girls meet each other. It’s easily the most fake thing I have ever seen.

What is Moby Dicks dad’s name? Poppa Boner

I get turned on whenever I eat greek dips… …I think I’m a hummusexual.

My brother told me this today. Malayasia flight 404 not found.

Ropin’ and Ranchin’ by Larry Yett

When I say I’m gonna take a nap, it means I’m gonna go on my computer for three hours.