I want to start a coffee shop that only plays ambient/electronic music… and call it Brian Beano.

How do you get a gay man to fuck a woman? Shit in her cunt.

Heading to Chinatown after work… I heard it’s Erection Day.

I keep getting the urge to purchase a big white bear from the artic… …Doc says I might have “Buy Polar” disorder! EDIT: arctic*

I find like geologers make really good friends… …they are very down to Earth.

butts are truly the final frontier. to think we know more about SPACE than we do about the human butt. two fleshy mounds of mystery & wonder

I like my women like I like my coffee… I don’t fucking like coffee.

What type of fruit is not allowed to get married? Cantaloupe…

How many people with dementia does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

What did the homeless person say to the gay job interviewer when asked for his address? No home-o.