people who can fall asleep quickly freak me out don’t they have thoughts

I just held the door open for an Asian guy. He said, “Sank you,” so I punched him in the face. I can’t believe he brought up Pearl Harbor like that.

Where do you send hyperactive jewish children for summer vacation? Concentration camp.

You’re so empty inside….nnn….stupid fridge.

Hey do you mind if I play street fighter with you? SHORYUKEN!

[stranded on deserted island] *spells out message in rocks* WHAT’S THE WIFI PASSWORD

Geography puns So I was trying to look up some Geography puns, but I couldn’t find any.

those fake living rooms at IKEA should have a couple in them trying to assemble IKEA furniture and fighting

What kind of birds do you usually find locked up ? Jail-birds !

Ever notice that a European male tourist dresses like a 7th grade girl from the suburbs? Graphic tees and Hollister jeans allllll day.