Has anyone tried watering old people? Maybe they just need to be watered.

Out in public, my husband and I only argue using whale sounds, so it’s actually a very calm and soothing experience for people around us.

If you want to get your beer cold out in the wilds Look for the cool ants.

What do a dwarf and a midget have in common? Very little.

Why do people always look so embarrassed walking down the street with a pizza box? Be proud man, you’ve got a pizza!

What does a Cuban do when he gets a flat tire? Drowns.

What’s Scrooge’s favourite food? A humbug’er.

How did the man find out his sister was actually his half-sister? He saw her penis

What’s red and smells like blue paint? Red paint

i once heard that in the old days, you received a last name based on your profession. if so, what the hell was John Hancock’s career?