“C’mon, your relationship isn’t *that* serious.” – Las Vegas

Don’t forget to tell everyone how you love Fridays because we were all wondering how you feel about them.

What did the testicle say to the other testicle? “Between you and me, I think something’s up.” I’m slightly tipsy, this is probably a terrible joke. Merry Christmas!

Back in college, I used to hang a sock on the doorknob when I wanted to signal my roommate that I had no idea how to fold laundry.

Do you know why god created leprosy? He needed someone to lend him a hand!

Two part joke Q. How does an elephant hide in an apple tree? A. He paints his balls red. Q. What’s the loudest sound in Africa? A. Giraffes eating apples.

Today a girl kissed me I just wish that I could post this in another subreddit 🙁

My dad told a lame joke today I told him to stop because he never makes funny jokes. His replay was – I made you didn’t I?

JOHN AND MARY’S SEX DISCOVERY

A racist man laments… If people gave him $1 for every racist thing he said or done he’d be able to make a small contribution of 1 million dollars to Donald Trump’s campaign.