Can I get a pina colada please. ‘This is Starbucks’ Sorry, can I have venti pina colada.

Why do scuba divers roll backwards out of the boat? Cause if they rolled forwards, they would still be in the boat.

What do you call a computer that only plays sad songs? Adele

I showed up later to dinner yesterday because I was baking a turkey. I’m the turkey. Il see myself to the kitchen table.

What do you get when you combine Avogadro’s number of avocados? GuacaMole!

Wanna heare a joke about potassium? K

Nothing is more frightening than accidentally making eye contact with a guy who runs a mall kiosk.

Why did everyone bring a quiche to Sean Connery’s party? It was leave your keys at the door.

How do you know when a mongol is level? He’s drooling from both corners of his mouth.

Why does Mexico never get gold medals in olympics? Because all their swimmers, runners, and high jumpers are in USA.