I have a split personality No he doesn’t

I bet a lot more people would read the Bible if it was called The Adventures of Jesus and Friends.

Why don’t you see hippos hiding in trees? Because they’re really good at it.

What Is Bluetooth ? When your toothbrush stops working mid brushing

I heard a guy at the beach screaming, “HELP! SHARK! HELP!” I just laughed. I knew that Shark wasn’t going to help him.

The director of “A Girl in the River” went to high school with me in Karachi! She won an Oscar! This is not gonna help w my parents. #Oscars

What is a name for a female lawyer? Sue

Imagine me naked. Wrong. Fatter.

ADHD is ADD in high definition.

How many McDonald’s counter girls does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change it and one to put some chips with it.