When Noah was loading the Ark, where did he put the bees? In the Ark-hives.

“Man, what’s eating you today? *looks down* I Don’t know…. GET IT OFF OF ME!!!

Student: Teacher, can I ask you a question? Teacher: You just did.

What do elephants do in the evenings ? Watch elevision !

Your baby might be adorable, but so is my cat and she cleans her own butt.

What do you do with an elephant with three balls? Walk him and pitch to the rhino. For non-Americans, this is a baseball joke

One hair in my soup Waiter, I am outraged. There is one hair in my soup. – And what do you expect for this price? A whole wig?!

Damn girl, are you a jar of pickles? Because I think I NEED to bang you on my kitchen counter.

Why did the Gorilla visit Italy? An advertisement’s headline enticed him – See Ape-les and die!

Why shouldn’t you sleep with a weatherman? They’ll promise 12 to 14 inches, but you’ll only get 3 to 5.