What’s the difference between wild Iranian Ossetra caviar and my penis? One is a delicacy (Deh-Lih-Cuh-See) and the other is a delicady (Deh-Lih-Cuh-Dee) Edit: The D

What happened when the girl dressed as a spoon left the Halloween party ? No one moved. They couldn’t stir without her.

I am an expert at making balloon animals. May I interest you in a hyphen or a pickle?

I tried googling Wiz Khalifa … But all I found was MIa Khalifa peeing .

What’s better than two roses on your piano? Tulips on your organ.

I like Tuesday simply because it is literally the furthest from next Monday I can possibly be.

My favorite kind of math is adding insult to injury.

FREE $1,000,000,000 IDEA: a Tumblr-type platform for list-making called Schindlr

Why is Saturn like your balls?? Because it is in between jupeter an your anus.

What did the two tampons have in common? They were both stuck up bitches