Who does the Metric Cult worship? …Demetre.

Pokemon Go has really improved my life… I used to always get in trouble for playing with my balls outside.

I showed up at Disney headquarters uninvited I said I was there for a Rogue One cameo That’s how I learned the security guards have Tasers

I love watching two girls meet each other. It’s easily the most fake thing I have ever seen.

What is Moby Dicks dad’s name? Poppa Boner

My brother told me this today. Malayasia flight 404 not found.

I get turned on whenever I eat greek dips… …I think I’m a hummusexual.

When I say I’m gonna take a nap, it means I’m gonna go on my computer for three hours.

Ropin’ and Ranchin’ by Larry Yett

What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker? A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again.