What is the internal temperature of a tauntaun? Luke warm

I complained to my wife that I was short staffed at work She responded “yeah, and you have the same problem at home”

I overheard two female coworkers say there was a creepy dude listening to their conversation.

I’m trying to write a poem for my girlfriend, does anyone know what rhymes with threesome?

Pro tip: If a woman asks you how she looks, the correct answer is not “like Dan Aykroyd.”

*nose hairs growing out of control *buys tiny scissors *jam them in the eyes of whoever I catch staring at my nose hairs

My new cooking show, “Will Sasso Cooks With His Exposed Dick Really Close to the Food” premieres tonight (8/7 Central) in my mind. Be there!

Don’t you just hate it when people answer their own questions? I do.

The hotel we stayed in for our holiday offered bed and board but it was impossible to say which was the bed and which was the board.

Q: How many Kings of Spain does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: Juan