How do you figure out which contestant in a Ms. America pageant is a prostitute? Look for the one with the sash that says “I da ho”.

Why aren’t Tyler Perry movies for the light-hearted? They’re dark comedies.

Every woman I’ve ever been with only saw me the way they wanted to see me… …in their rearview mirror.

If you’re not one of the first five boys in the yard, you almost never get a milkshake.

sometimes i visit websites that have videos of people making love

What did nazi pilots eat for breakfast? Luftwaffles

So a blind man walks into a bar He hurts himself pretty badly.

Coffee so good it helps a little old lady cross the street.

Why did the semen cross the road? Because I put on the wrong pair of socks this morning.

How many police officers does it take to change a light bulb? None, because they’ll just beat the room for being black!