Dear Shirtless Guy in his Profile Pic, You REALLY want to impress girls? Get a job & pose in front of your cubicle.

Kids are like farts. You don’t mind your own, but others peoples are just unbearable

Over the past year, my sexual fetishes have been slowly getting more perverse. But it wasn’t until I spanked a statue that I realised I’d hit rock bottom.

How does a baboon make phone calls? He just monkeys around on the line!

What do you call it when a jugaloo sleeps with his girlfriend after a fight? Make up sex.

Did you hear about the skeleton who didn’t go to prom? He had no body to go with.

I’d kill for a microwave that plays Europe’s “The Final Countdown” during the last 30 seconds.

An Indian redditor gets an arranged marriage. He turns to his partner and says: “Thanks for the gold, kind stranger!”

What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? ……….Nothing you’ve already told her twice!

What is the last thing that tickle-me elmo gets before he leaves the factory? Two test tickles