If I had a dollar for every maths exam I failed I’d have about $6.50 right now

Barista: Latte for Waldo Barista: Do we have a Waldo here Barista: Where’s Waldo Me: *proudly nudging a stranger* I did that

I saw a construction sign today that said, “road rehab”. It must’ve been addicted to crack.

Courtney Love thinks she found the plane. It’s like God doesn’t trust us to write our own jokes.

Did you hear about the Scooby Doo villain who became an Olympic swimmer? He would have won, if it weren’t for all those medaling swimmers!

I’m okay with Rob Ford illegally using the HOV lanes… He technically counts as three people, doesn’t he?

What did Frankenstein’s monster say when he was struck by lightning? Thanks I needed that.

What’s the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean? I wouldn’t pay to have a garbanzo bean on my face.

Rick Astley will loan you any movie in his Pixar collection except for one… He’s never going to give you Up

What’s worse than a male chauvinistic pig? A woman that won’t do what she’s told.