What gets very small when exposed to cold? **YOUR PE**..anut butter ice cream crave

Heard they are making the Tetris movie into a trilogy… They must think its going to be a real blockbuster.

Crush: “Hey!” Me: *Retard mode activated*

I don’t repeat gossip So listen carefully the first time

Who was the best boxer of all time? Jim Jones, he knocked out 909 people with one punch!

The year is 2075. A student asks how World War 3 began. The teacher responds with “Well, James Franco and Seth Rogen made a movie…”

A man is buying an apple, a banana, and two eggs. The female cashier says: “You must be single.” The man answers: “Wow, how did you know?” Cashier: “Because you’re ugly.”

A mushrooms walks into a bar… … The bartender yells “Get the hell outta here!” The mushroom says “But why?! I’m a Fungi!”

Don’t kiss me, I don’t have the insulin for that. Tell me your diabetic jokes.

Bought a jug of detergent that said it will clean 126 loads. …So why, after 3 washes, do my sheets still glow under the black light?