I make out with a squirrel at a party one time, and now everyone is scared of me? That’s just ridiculous, he was dead for at least 2 hours.

Why did the elephant paint his balls green? Answer: to hide in avocado trees.. How did Tarzan die? Answer: Picking avocados

The gun that killed Reddit Went **Pao Pao Pao**

What do you call a bee from US? USB

[work email] Me: Can I meat the new guy? Boss: Meet? Okay, sure… Me: Great! *hides bag of steaks*

it’s never okay to hit a woman ! wipe her make up and fight her man to man

I don’t think Jesus would be mad if he came back and saw what the world has become. He might be a bit cross, though.

We get it, painters: you love naked women and bowls of fruit.

Yo momma so bald head she put a weave cap on and it weave her cull

Two parallel lines have so much in common Its a shame that…..