Height of noise Two skeletons having sex on a tin roof and using a can for a condom

I’m an Easter egg in the streets and a deviled egg in the sheets.

Why is Xena never charged with any crime? Because she’s Lucy Lawless

When I said “I hope you die,” I was actually being really thoughtful. Do you really want to experience the unending burdens of immortality?

Why are there no Walmarts in Syria? Because they’re all targets

What’s the difference between a lentil and a chick pea? I won’t pay $200 to have a lentil on my face.

Why can’t black people get PhD’s? Because they can’t get past their Masters.

Did yall see the Ebola donation thing that popped up on Face Book the other day? I clicked not now, because I thought it was some kind of virus.

What do you call a bull that masturbates? Beef Jerky.

What do you call an Irish threesome? Dublin up.