My friend’s 6-year-old was being obnoxious. The mature thing to do was to tell him to settle down. I challenged him to a rap battle.

How did the swordsman annoy r/jokes? He feinted. (Sorry)

Him: “What kinda chameleon do you have?” Me: Karma “Karma?” Karma “Karma..” Karma chameleon “How long you had him?” He comes & goes..

Movie Trivia: Cloverfield was just Khloe Kardashian on a shopping trip in New York

I’m currently trying to remove all Cancers. Then I’ll move on to Virgos.

“I’ll put this somewhere I won’t lose it.” (I’ll hide it somewhere I’ll never see it again.)

What do you call an empty jar of Cheez Whiz? Cheez Waz.

Fiber Monday is a great idea… but is once a year often enough ? Oh….it’s Cyber Monday ? Never mind.

What goes clop clop, clop clop, Bang! Bang! Clop clop… An Amish drive-by shooting.

I never get my idioms mixed up and you can take that to the bank and smoke it