What do children in north korea study for a science? Kimistry

Why was the pregnant woman screaming “wouldn’t, shouldn’t, couldn’t!”? She was having contractions.

A woman asked me how I view lesbianism the other day… Apparently “in HD” was not an acceptable answer.

“I’m better than you because I can fly and my body is a boat.” ~ Ducks

I was awakened last night by the bulimic lady in the apartment next door. I knocked on her door and said: “Please keep it down!”

Cut the shit, people who think I’m going to share my arm rest at the movie theater.

What did the dog say to the man? Nothing stupid, dogs don’t talk.

“Look guys! No hands!” -captain of the Titanic

Scooby Doo led me to believe there would be a LOT more abandoned amusement parks and old people pretending to be ghosts. So Disappointed.

Yo mama’s so fat… When she picked up a toddler the zoo keepers shot her.