The best joke ever created. Feminism.

Interview Employer: “This is an important job, we need someone who is responsible.” Applicant: “I’m the one you want! At my last job, every time there was a problem, they said I was responsible.”

What do you call a woman with one leg? Eileen

I recently opened a company selling land mines disguised as prayer mats Prophets are going through the roof

An iPhone 7 walks into a bar … I’ll have a Jack please!

Why is it that lawyers get sick? It’s because they are *contract*ually obligated to do so.

I went as a congressional bill for Halloween…. I stayed in the House and didn’t do anything.

My wife likes to talk after sex.. So she called me from a hotel room. No Respect! RIP Rodney Dangerfield

“It’s a-WE, Mario.” – Peach, shortly before the divorce

Let’s all just take a moment to appreciate the dedicated men and women of this great nation who sacrifice their evenings to deliver pizzas.