If couples who are in love are called love birds, then really, couples who always fight should be called angry birds!

My 6 year old nephew is legitimately pissed off that there is no actual monkey in the monkey bread.

A registered organ donor passed away. His body was sent to Amazon Prime… Because they de-liver for free.

I’d sit on Ellen Pao’s face… … Just so I wouldn’t have to look at it.

Why has Mexico never won olympic gold? All those who can run, jump and swim are in Texas.

What’s long and black? An unemployment line.

What’s black and sits at the top of the stairs? Stephen Hawkings after a house fire.

What is it about glow sticks that makes me want to dance in a field wearing fairy wings? If only I hadn’t taken so many drugs I’d know this.

What’s a wombat for? For playing wom

The Tortoise and the Hare is a classic story about how people who like to run are awful.