How do you circumcise a whale? Four skin divers

What do you call the Dollar Tree stores in Britain? Pound Town

Nothing cuts deeper than an insult with bad grammar and a spelling mistake.

If you marry an 18 year old they call you a cradle robber.. So if you marry a 70 year old, does that make you a grave robber?

When my large dog wants to sit beside me but my other slightly less large dog already is, he just sits on top of him

What did the gay Frenchman say to his boyfriend right before sucking his dick? Boner appetit.

Why are dyslexia kids scared of Christmas? Satan comes down the chimney.

Beware of TV. It has the power to turn things like storage, parking and cupcakes into wars.

Fact: Your elbow is the most delicious part of the human body. Try it.

I forgot to take my wallet out of my pants in the washer. I have committed money laundering.