Why didn’t the melons get married? They were cantaloupes. 😉

What’s for dinner? -A question asked by children who have no intention of eating the answer.

I hate how everybody is acting like they love this new pope so much and they’re such big fans but probably can’t even name 3 of his songs.

How do Jews shower? The same as you idiot. First we get nice and we.. Wait, it’s a trap! The gas its too mu… faint scream

My cousins baby child keeps pointing at me and saying ‘cat’

What is a dank memers favorite letter? A

Smokey the Bear Why cant smokey the bear have kids? Every time his wife gets hot, he beats her with a shovel.

Which is faster to unload, a truckload of bricks or a truckload of dead kittens? Dead kittens. Can’t get a pitchfork into the bricks.

What do you say to a Jedi who stole your sicilian dessert? “You owe me one cannoli.”

I’ve created a new strain of marijuana called halal haze.. . It’s so strong… It’ll get you stoned to death.