What is the climax to a telephone receptionist who is on cocaine ? A second line

Lesbian Eskimo? Klondyke.

What did the rapper say to the deli owner? Challah!

An ATM machine that gives you a hug and whispers ‘Everything will be ok’ into your ear when you check your account balance.

A skeleton walks into a bar and asks the barman for a pint of beer and a mop.

Money doesnt grow on trees? So then why do banks have branches?

Why didn’t JFK ever like vodka? Because he couldn’t handle a few shots

Report: Scientist walks in on climate changing, awkwardness ensues

Game of Thrones is exciting, but I think it’s important to remember that these people are fighting over a chair

TIL that Funimation has an unreleased Dragon Ball Z episode where they just improved the whole script. Oops. Wrong dub. (Real oops. Meant to type improvised)