My Wife wears some very revealing shirts. Today’s shirt says ‘Nick’s ATM code is 1234’ on it.

Have you heard how busy the Samsung customer care lines are? Their phones are blowin’ up!

I was about make a Sodium Joke… But Na

How does Moses make tea? Hebrews it

Cat is hissing at nothing in the kitchen. Based on horror movies I’ve seen nothing good can come of this, but I’m a white guy so I’ll stay.

If you say “NO YOURE UNDER ARREST” the cop legally has to get in the back of your car.

You don’t need to use your words if you’re carrying a machete. People just seem to figure it out.

how do you know you’re in an elevator with the people of reddit? you’re stuck on the basement level!

What’s the cheapest cut of meat? Deer nuts: they’re under a buck.

You know what’s weird? I’ve never seen any femail boxes.