So I was having sex with this girl.. When suddenly she asks me: “Doesn’t it bother you that I’m 13??” So I replied: “Not really, I’ve never been superstitious”

What is the difference between an ornithologist and a stutterer? One is a bird watcher, and the other is a word botcher.

Yo momma’s so fat You can see the couch behind her do to gravitational lensing.

I was gonna post a joke about me being a shitty seller on eBay But my delivery has horrible timing.

What did the fish say when it swam into a cement wall? DAM!

While driving, I hit a car driven by a little person. He ran up to me and said “Hey asshole! I’m not happy!”, to which I replied…. ….”So which one *are* you then? “

How many Freudians does it take to screw their mothers? Not mothers, lightbulbs. Shit.

Dang girl, are you a zombie? Cuz I’m bringing you back from the dead!

I’ve spent the last 2 years looking for my ex girlfriends killer. But no one will do it

Want to hear a joke? The Ghostbusters Remake