JOCKEY: “Watch me whip” HORSE: “Watch me neigh neigh”

What is the difference between a Cadillac and five dead Asian hookers? I don’t have a Cadillac in my garage

What’s the difference between a garbonzo bean and a chickpea? I wouldn’t pay $300 to have a garbonzo bean on my face!

So a termite walks into a bar… And he sits down and says, “Hey, is the bar tender here?”

Playing Scrabble is like talking to women… You spend the whole time looking at the rack trying to form words.

Why did the boy look at each and every one of the animal crackers? Because his mother told him not to eat them if the “seal” was broken. Credits to my school principal

I will not be giving shelter to any men in my bunker after the apocalypse only women, and there is a dress code…. #Doomsday2012

I’ve hosted an bukkake party for my girlfriend You should’ve seen her face

What’s another word for a penis potato? A dictator

What do Chinese lumberjacks do? Chopsticks