Month End Status Month begins with lots of happiness and ends with just a few coins & credit card bills

When life gives you chlamydia, make lemon chlamydia?

In a communist country, what does a woman say to a man before having sex? I want you to seize my means of reproduction.

How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word? Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!

I’m going to get a job at a liquor store just so I can card people & see who’s lying about how much they weigh on their ID.

What do you say to a woman with no arms or legs? Nice tits!

I think my wife is cheating on me with an undertaker. I could swear she was wearing clothes when she died.

The joke that made me subscribe to this subreddit: I love being bipolar. It sucks.

What do you call a rainbow of Jeeps in the driveway? Roy Jeep Biv

Why does a milking stool have only 3 legs? Because the cow has the utter.