Scientists have looked into claims of widespread mansplaining… Turns out it’s usually just an ovaryaction.

I like my friends like I like my coffee… I gave it up for lent

In capitalist America, you grab people by the pussy. In Soviet Russia, you seize the means of reproduction.

My girlfriend broke up with me after we had sex.. She said she’s full of me

What does a nosey pepper do? Gets jalapeno buisness. … I’ll let my self out.

How do you hire a horse? Put a brick under each hoof!

I’ll have you know my grandfather was killed by a Nazi. He committed suicide

getting sick of watching movies where johnny depp dresses like a hobo. I blame him for russel brand

My gran keeps banging on about the dangers of the modern world, apparently when she was young she never had to secure her back entrance. What a slag.

Three Jews walk into a bar… …and head straight to the back room to check the books to see how much profit it’s been making. Because they own the bar. Because they’re Jews.