What do you call a pot smoker that spends every night dancing and drinking with his friends? A Rastapartying

How many perverts does it take to insert a light bulb? Only one; However, it takes an entire emergency ward to get it back out again.

Just went to Walgreens & they’re a bunch of liars. Their walls were more of a beige color. I’m suing.

I am sure that in alcohol are female hormones. When I drink I talk too much and don’t know how to drive.

Pokemon Go Run errands with your mom.

Pretty sure marriage was invented to help people overcome their fear of death.

one tectonic plated bumped into another… “Sorry my fault”

Why was the dolphin sad? Because it had no porpoise in life.

My husband still waves to policemen like a 5 year old.

What celebrity never payed with a cheque or credit? Johnny Cash.