How would you try to sleep with a fat girl? oh, sorry, i misspelled “why”…

If your mom calls you a son of a bitch, you might be a redneck.

What rock group has 4 men that do not sing? Mt. Rushmore

A bear walks into a bar. He says to the bartender “I’ll have a gin…and tonic.” Bartender says “OK, but why the pause?” “I was born with them.”

My girlfriend called me a pedophile That’s a big word for a 12 year old

Damn girl Just $5 for a blowjob? You have syphigonnaidsitis or something?

A big thank you to whoever spraypainted “KARATE” on the side of my truck. Cops are scared to give me tickets now.

I decided to come to my friends as transparent they saw right through me.

What do you call titty fucking underwater? The breast stroke

You should all be proud if me, guys. I got a designated driver for tonight. He’s my nephew, and he’s six, but he’s drank way less than me.