My sister lost her voice and told me this joke

Pop’s Chicken Q: What did popeye do after he turned black? A: He made his own restoraunt.

So I called the suicide hotline earlier… I was answered with, “Thank you for calling Mr. Archipelago0. We will be processing your request shortly.”

Hansel: how are we gonna get home Gretel: we should leave some sort of trail Duck: [pitching voice] how about a trail of bread crumbs

What did the Jewish pedophile say to the boy? Hey kid, you want to buy some candy?

How did I get the balls to write such a grotesque joke? Gruesome.

Why didn’t Hitler participate in the marathon? … Because he can’t finish a race.

What’s the Easter Bunny’s favorite song? “Don’t you want some bunny to love”

God said to Jon “Come forth, and recieve eternal life.” But Jon came fifth, and won a toaster.

I like Mitt Romney because he looks like the model in every stock photo of a businessman on a flip phone in 2002.