Turkey shoots down Russian jet it’s too soon to tell, but insiders report his actions were in hopes of receiving a presidential pardon before thanksgiving hits.

How to pass the Bechdel Test “Oh my God, Becky, look at her butt.”

When picking partners for a trust fall . . . . . . Always choose the ground. The ground will always catch you.

What is a red haired persons favorite alcohol? Ginger Ale

I met a girl called simile. I don’t know what I metaphor.

Mathematicians have found a new, advanced strand of Ebola… called Hyper-bola I’m sorry 🙁

How often do I make chemistry jokes? Periodically. I made one yesterday, but it had no reaction.

Ever been to a bulimic’s birthday party? (fixed) The cake jumps out of the girl.

The quickest way to immigrate to America… Is on a one way ticket to Mexico.

My girlfriend invited me to have some cyber-sex… I thought it was gonna be just some us time but it turned out it was a 4G!