What kind of bee can never be understood? A mumble-bee.

How did the Latino girl get pregnant Her teacher told her to do an essay

What is Michael J Fox’s favourite song? Shake It Off by Tayler Swift

And Lord said unto John… “Come forth and receive eternal life” But John came 5th… He got a toaster

Drake Lyrics I was running and I stubbed my fuckin toe, you know how that shit go, I went down to the floor

This kid at my nephew’s birthday party shit his pants and got to go home. I’m seriously considering this option.

I got some used paint In the shape of a house.

Men are great masochists After all, they spend most of the teen years beating themselves while looking for someone to do it for them

Round the Mountain by Sheelagh B. Cummin

Why would you go to a psychiatrist? When you can just kill yourself