What Do People Have In Common With Jellybeans? Nobody likes the black ones.

Everything is made in China. Except for babies. They’re made in VaChina.

What’s the difference between the England football team and a teabag? The teabag stays longer in the cup.

I’m just like Batman I have to get out of bed at night quite often.

“If you want something badly enough you’ll never give up.” -psychopaths

What do you call an Irish lesbian? Gaelic

I am not an alcoholic An alcoholic needs a drink, I have a drink.

Why can’t Mexicans cross the border in three’s? Because there’s no TRESpassing

I tried to duck it, but I just wasn’t quack! enough.

What’s the difference in Xbox One and your mother? I genuinely care about your mother.