I don’t believe Africans poach rhinos. They don’t have enough water to fill a pan that size.

Why do french tanks have rear view mirrors? To see the battle.

Every time someone uses the word “intense”, Chuck Norris always replies “you know what else is intense?” followed by a roundhouse kick to the face.

Did you hear about the scarecrow that got promoted? He was outstanding in his field…

What do you call a cheap maid uniform? Maid in China.

You know a girl is too young for you… If you have to make the aeroplane noise to get your cock in her mouth Credit: Jimmy Carr

What do you call a lying rooster? A cock you wouldn’t believe!

What’s the best way to announce that you’re lactose-intolerant I’m allergic to Wait for it Dairy

“Do you come here often”, she asked… “No, usually in my belly button”, I replied.

How do you castrate a guy from Kentucky? Kick his sister in the jaw.