Where do Crows hang out on a friday nght? At a crow bar.

Confucious say Man walking down the street carrying a 5-disc CD changer… …is either walking to or from the Salvation Army.

I cannot stand sitting beside a racist person. because its impossible to sit and stand simultaneously..

What do you call an Indian man standing on one leg? Balan Singh.

Why did the boy take a ladder to school? He wanted to go to high school.

Does an Eskimo ever think about drizzling their house with delicious flavored syrups and eating it?

My dog is called cigarette as he’s got no legs Every evening I take him for a drag

Went early to my Tantric Sex class last night… Was told to come later.

How many walruses does it take to make a sandwich? Don’t be silly, walruses don’t make sandwiches; women make sandwiches. Made this up to bug my sister. It worked. Her husband laughed.

Why did Will die? Because the commanding officer told his soldiers: “Fire at will”