my test required a number two, pencil i thought it was a pretty shitty requirement

Tumblr actually likes Preston Garvey That’s it, that’s the joke.

Why did Darwin love CSS? Because children inherit properties from their parents.

I find a duck’s opinion of me is very much influenced by whether or not I have bread.

Sad news about the Michelin Man.. He’s retyred..

You are? Follow instructions. Say – Eye Spell-map Say-ness

Guess what I got asked at the hairdresser’s earlier. Fucking everything.

Chris Pratt is my favorite actor whose name sounds like if a rodent fell in the McDonald’s deep fryer

All I’m saying is, I’ve never seen my Ex and Satan in the same room together.

I feel sorry for all the responsible bulls out there minding their own business and just looking to buy some nice china.