I’m going to open a store called Chasm It will be like the Gap, but a lot bigger.

What do you call an 8 day long blowjob? Hanukkah Lewinski

What is a cation afraid of? A dogion

I walked into the gym and see a bunch of ladies working out I ask the guy who is running the gym, “Sir, what machine should I use to impress the ladies?” He smiles says “Try the ATM in the lobby”.

Women that say size doesn’t matter are just? Shallow

How Many liberals does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, because they’re so darn stupid!

The Pythagorean Theorem, Newton’s Third Law and Bernoulli’s Principle walk into a bar. The bartender says, “I’m not going to get this joke aren’t I?”

Did you hear about that guy who put 19 toy horses up his butt? His condition is stable.

Whats brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre

A wedding is like inviting your family and friends to the dock to watch you leave England on the Titanic.