Did you hear what sandy did to New Jersey? A few billion dollars worth of improvements

BRO DOCTOR “Well, looks like we’re going to have to check that prostate lol no homo” BRO DOCTOR

Knock knock… Who’s there? Cow. Cow who? COWWHOBUNGA DUDE ._.

What came first, the Chicken or the Egg? That depends on which one you had for starters

What do you call an anorexic.. What do you call an anorexic chick with a yeast infection? Quarter-pounder with cheese

Found this in r/funny “When I said to nuke the Chinese, I meant to put the takeout in the microwave!”

I was gonna wear my camouflage pants this morning… But I couldn’t find them

Me: “Bless me father, it’s been 13,505 days since my last confession.” Priest: “You’re off to a bad start.”

I went to the Space and Air Museum in Indiana… I paid $20 just to see an empty warehouse.

As a stay at home dad, I have more in common with lingerie models than you might think. We both are in our underwear most of our work day.