Why were the early days of history called the dark ages? There were so many Knights

All the liberals want to move to Canada… What’s wrong with Mexico, you racist fucks?

Q( – _-)________o__Q(-_ – ) Asian Ping Pong Match

What did the sassy monkey say to the bad monkey? You don’t deserve a banana.

Role playing in the bedroom was fun until my wife gave me a speeding ticket.

My friend told me I didn’t “understand” irony. But then he got a flat tire. Oh, the sweet irony.

Why was the skunk arrested for counterfeiting? Because he gave out bad scents (cents).

It’s been quite a while since I saw a movie with Jane, Henry, or Bridget I guess it’s true what they say – absence makes the heart grow Fonda.

I think my neighbor is stalking me… as I saw her googling my name on her computer last night.I saw it through my telescope.

I just ‘borrowed’ $20 from my teenage daughter. She’s such an idiot.