You’re in love? Cool, I’m in sweatpants.

Who is Ed McMahon’s favorite Japanese Filmmaker? Hiyooooo Miyazaki.

Would you like to go see a meteor shower? What are you some kind of pervert?!?

Dr Watson asks Sherlock Holmes… “Holmes, why are you spreading fruit juice on my buttocks?” “Lemon entry dear Watson, Lemon entry”

Why can’t you play UNO with Mexicans? They steal all the green cards.

Why is Obama pro gay marriage? Because he is a cock sucker

What do you call it when a lizard has problems in the bedroom? A reptile dysfunction

Are you a cop from New York? Because you take my breath away.

The English team visited an orphanage in brazil. “It’s heartbreaking to see their sad little faces with no hope”,said Jose age 6.

q: what’s black and would kill you if it jumped on you out of a tree? a: a grand piano