Who is the bees favourite singer ? Sting !

I once played golf with a Kiwi The RSPCA showed up the next day.

I know I know So what do you call a black woman who has had 9 abortions? A Crime Fighter!!!

Why is the ocean so salty? Because the land never waves back

Why should you bring two pairs of pants when you golf? In case you get a hole-in-one (stolen from some girl at school)

[ouija board] Spirits im in need of your help O N L Y I F Y O U H E L P U S Sure W T F I S Y O U R W I F I P A S S W O R D

It’s everybodies favourite day of the year World IBD day! Ah shit, I’m missing a colon

Everyone wants to have sex, sluts are just successful. That’s why we hate them. Stupid sluts.

3 men go to a strawberry stand… they buy some strawberries. They get stomach aches from eating the strawberries. They put on their hats and go off to work with stomach aches

*points to person jogging outside through the snow* “Look kids, a lunatic”