What does a pedophile and a guitarist have in common… They both like to finger A-minor.

The first time I took a Viagra it got stuck in my throat I had a stiff neck for 2 days

Mexican and black jokes are all the same.. Once you’ve heard Juan you’ve heard Jamal.

What’s brown and hides in the attic? The diarrhea of Anne Frank

What is the difference between an onion and a hooker? I always cry when I cut an onion

[wife crosses out another baby name off the list] What? What’s wrong with Carlos Danger Grenades?

A pirate walks into a bar… The bartender says, “are you aware that there is a wheel in your pants?” The pirate replies, “AAARGGHH it’s driving me nuts!”

My wife doesn’t like it when I pee in the shower… Especially when I’m not in it… And she is.

Guy: I want a room Receptionist: Sorry no rooms available G: My name is improvement R: So what? G: there is always a room for improvement !!!

Did you hear Han Solo will be running next years London Marathon? He says he reckons he’ll be able to finish in less than 26 miles