so a guy with a premature ejaculations problem comes out of nowhere

What is Whitney houstons favorite type of coordination? HAAAANNNNNND EEEEYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEE

what do you call someone with le neckbeard and le fedora le enlightened genius lol

What does toilet paper and the Star Trek Enterprise have in common? They both circle Uranus looking for Klingons.

What did Hitler say from heaven when the Russians took over Auschwitz Stop it that’s Mein Kampf!

My girlfriend asked me what I feel about being with her. I told her what I truly feel. Numbness radiating down my left arm.

Poison control sounds pretty easy. Most poisons can’t even move.

[Interrupts the wedding vows] it’s open bar right?

Listen. I may be a nerd, but I have had sex. Just ask my wife. (Please don’t ask my wife.)

Why isn’t there a middle finger emoji I swear I would use it 99% of the time