Alright MythBusters, it’s time to step it up. You’re busting viral videos now? Next you’re gonna tell me Toy Story 3 was bullshit.

If my ex had an autobiography it would be called “Mein Cramps” What, did you NOT SEE that one coming?

Not a lot of people know this, but if you dress up like a pirate and go into Red Lobster, you eat for free.

If you read the instructions carefully, the first step to making any microwavable lunch is to throw away the box and dig it out of the trash

What’s the difference between a baby and a trampoline? You take off your boots to jump on a trampoline

Why did Gandhi lose the race? I guess he got his fasts mixed up.

The only thing Bill Cosby did wrong was pudding. …pudding his dick where it doesn’t belong.

Why can not Stevie Wonder read? Because he’s black.

Wish I had a neck like an owl so when a guy is spooning me right after sex I could turn my head all the way around and say that was awful

Oh that’s neat so you’re a Cancer? Wait…astrologically or to society?