What is Mexico’s national sport? Cross country

I got to know that there are 15 child molesters in my area… So why do we always have to meet at my place? (Credits: Anthony Jeselnik)

What do you call Winnie the Pooh’s Grandmother? Poonanny

Why do I wash my clothes in TIDE? … because it’s too cold out-tide.

It’s a 10 minute walk from my house to the bar. It is a 2 hour walk from the bar back to my house. It’s so weird.

Call me old fashioned, but I’m dying of smallpox.

Hangry A state of anger caused by lack of food. May evoke negative change in emotional state. Translation: feed me or i’ll cut you

I think the bigger issue with our country is that Paula Deen even had that many endorsements to lose in the 1st place.

What is the first name of Mr Rafone? Mike.

How do you get an emo out of a tree? Cut the rope imsosorry:(