Where did Sally go during the bombing? Everywhere **Knock Knock** Who’s there? Not Sally.

Two birds are sat on a perch. One turns to the other and says “Can you smell fish?”

How did Donald Trump know he had an STD? Because he was fired

Q: Why did the apple cry? A: Its peelings were hurt.

*doctor looks up* I’m afraid you have forgetting about 80’s bands disease “Oh god what’s The Cure?” *doctor sighs* It’s worse than I thought

Someone needs to tell attractive people that their stories are boring.

Yeah yeah “Friends with Benefits” are cool but have you tried “Friends with Batteries”? Less drama!

Donald Trump doesn’t play in the stock market. He prefers Junk Blondes.

What do you do after raping a deaf girl? Break her fingers so she cant tell anyone.

“DAAAAAAAD!! LOKI KEEPS STEALING MY THUNDER!!” -adolescent Thor