I just overheard a co-worker announce she got tickets to a Nickelback concert. That’s all, she was completely serious.

How do men in New Zealand address their women? “Hey! Ewe!”

What did one orphan say to another? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

Did you hear about Mrs Dimwit’s new baby? She thought babies should be pink so she took this one to the doctor because it was a horrible yeller.

Why are Peruvians always deported? Because they can’t Peruve they’re citizens

What famous movie did the hamburger meat think of when they took it out of the freezer? They Fry Who Cam in from the Cold!

A man goes to the doctor He says he has been having dreams where one night, he is a teepee, and the other night he is a wigwam. Doctor says: “That’s an easy one, you’re too tense!” (Two tents)

Can someone help me, I can’t remember,,, Did Sarah Jessica Parker get an Oscar for Sea Biscuit?

How many American cops does it take to change a lightbulb? None, they just beat the room for being black

I asked my grandma if she had ever tried 69… She said, “No, but I have done 53 That’s all the sailors I could screw in one night.”